disappointed, thankful, and impatient

I want to be more like the nameless girl who was sitting next to me on the plane yesterday. I know a lot about her, but I don't know her name. Before the plane's wheels had even left the ground, I knew more about her than I currently know about my own brother. It was easy, too.

I want to be more like her, and she doesn't even know Jesus.

Nothing was off-limits for her. Questions came easily, and explanations came even easier. Her life was a story, and she told it. Her life was a struggle, and she shared it. Her life had no hope, and that's why I'm thankful that I have Jesus. And that's why I want so badly for her to know Jesus as well. She's heard of Him. Of course she had. She went to catholic school for eight years. And it's a tragedy that the thing she remembers the most about those years in school is church history. She remembers the "funny prayers" that she had to memorize. She remembers much of church history and supposes that it will be helpful for future reference. What a tragedy. Eight years, and no recollection of the gospel...

This girl, going into her junior year of high school, lives confidently. Although, I don't know how. She was raised by her grandparents in a mobile home, and her parents have made life difficult. Her grandmother died last year. She's moved around quite a bit, and she only sees her mom when she herself goes to visit. And she doesn't like to visit. I don't quite know how she became so confident, but I want to live like that. Especially in my interactions with strangers. And I have a reason to be confident, so why am I not?

She challenged me. She started conversation about deeper issues--and very seamlessly, if I do say so. She was quite innocent, and her questions were sincere. They were easy to answer. I want to be like that.

I'm thankful for interactions like these. Our conversation challenged me, and I was disappointed at the end that we did not get deeper into talking about Jesus. I don't know if that was a lack of intentionality on my part, or if it was the way the conversation needed to go. But besides disappointment, with the help of the Lord's perspective, I was also able to be encouraged with the conversation, and the ease by which it occurred. I talked about my faith and my church freely and without glossing over. I did it without caring if she would judge me. And, if you know my history, this is a huge accomplishment. Thank you, Jesus.

And so I have even more to build on as I am challenged and encouraged and moved to share more and more about this Hope that I have found. I am being refined. I am impatient, but I can see that God is working. Lord, help me to be patient with my own slowness and need for smaller steps than I'd like. And help me to pursue you relentlessly. Help me to know you more and more so that it is easy to share you out of the overflow. By Your Spirit's power and work. For Your glory. In the name of Jesus.